I’m trying to be a better me.
WOW, that’s a sweeping statement, isn’t it?
My faults are many. I know that I’m often pessimistic. I worry all the time for no reason. I complain. I’m not flexible. I say mean things about people (sorry people). I obviously don’t like these things about myself. But they’re there. They bother me. Every time I find myself doing the above a little voice says (UGHH Shannon, why’d you say that? why’d you do that? why are you acting this way?). It’s kind of like the scene from The Good Place when Michael reminds Eleanor of having a conscience (amazing show by the way). I think about this cycle of saying/doing something mean and then kicking myself for it. It leaves me wondering how do you even become a better person? Can you become better than how you “naturally” are?
Yes. Definitely yes. Right…? I think that’s a big part of growing up: acknowledging your flaws and then trying to change them. I know there are a lot of genuinely good people out there, but I also know (or at least hope) I’m not alone in all of my faults and not being the best version of myself. Can you confirm?
So what the heck am I doing about it?
- I’m asking people more questions without interrupting with my own stories. I HATE when I do this.
- If (when) I say something mean about someone, I try to say something nice or correct my own bias by putting myself in their shoes. Why are they acting like that? Was there a miscommunication? I’m trying to always keep in mind that people are different from me. DUH. And I’m not saying I’m going to be best friends with every human being I meet, but I’m going to try and watch what I say about my fellow people.
- I’m trying to be more thankful for what I have, and not focus on what I don’t
- I have to keep telling myself to “STAHP COMPARING YOURSELF TO LITERALLY EVERY PERSON ON EARTH”
- “She’s skinnier than me”
- “She’s more successful than me”
- “She’s having more fun than me”
- “Why can’t I be as personable as her?”
- “She has more followers than me” <<< honestly the most embarrassing thought
Anyway, I hope we can still be friends after you read through this fault-filled post. Tell me I’m not alone.